worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
