You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
