I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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