hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish my penis had an off switch
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
