i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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