break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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