One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
