I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
