He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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