Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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