White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he fucked my hip out of place.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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