I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
