I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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