Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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