Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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