You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
