Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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