this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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