Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
