Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
