She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
