Me. At least after what I've been through.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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