She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
