Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
