You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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