Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
