Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
