Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize