well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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