i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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