So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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