Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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