so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
