I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
