I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
