Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
