i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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