She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
