Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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