The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
