ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
