he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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