So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
