I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Randomize
