I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
