mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
