arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you traded sex for a burrito?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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