you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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