omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
