He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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