Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
