kristin has been a bad kristin
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
