She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
